Family Squabbles

So dad has the beginning stages of dementia. Hmm. He has just had a stroke and his right side has been affected. The doctors and nurses encouraged dad to fill out an Advanced Directive while in the hospital and I helped him.* My step-mom came up from Tennessee to help me figure out what needed to be done. (Keep in mind now that my father and step-mom had been seperated for some time but dad never did divorce her) My little brother and his wife came as well to the hospital. And of course my husband was there with us. The doctors agreed he should not go back to his home because it was not set up for his debilitated state. There was much heated discussions on this subject as my step-mom and I agreed. Dad didn't. Other family members were willing to let dad do what he wanted to do. Thus the squabbles. In the end it was agreed dad would go to my little brothers (Mike) home for a time until he could get around better and maybe go back to his home. They worked hard to help monitor his diet and take care of him. Dad wasn't very cooperative because he wanted to be on his own again, eating what he wanted to eat and doing what he wanted to do. I believe he was most concerned about the young girlfriend he had had for several years. And he was rightly so to be worried. She hadn't signed up for caregiver. She left him. Somewhere in this time with my little brother Mike and his wife he divorced my step-mom.* While he was in the first stages of dementia. After a couple of months an adopted son of my dad's had come back on the scene and decided he would move in with my father in my fathers home. So that's what they did............ Oh and I don't want to lead you on and think I wanted to take care of him because I didn't. Remember I loved my father but I thought he was resonsible for being in the condition he was in and while not wanting him to be in his own home doing all the wrong things, I thought he needed to be in a nursing home getting some kind of care. For sure not in my home screwing up my life.....

* Remember this as it will be very important in upcoming posts.