Julie Farmer here just testing my ping.fm social networking site. I hope this post shows up on all my sites. Good Day All!

Nowhere But Up

Dad was in bed all the time in the beginning. He was in diapers and didn't communicate much. When he did you could hardly understand what he was trying to say. You never knew what answer you would get when you asked him who was winning the ball game he was watching. Sometimes the team he said was winning wasn't even playing the game!

I'll never forget those first doctor visits at the VA. Each visit had its own challenge from holding dad down while blood was drawn to changing his diaper in the women's restroom. Even though he didn't communicate much it had to be embarrassing for him to have to be taken into the women's restroom.

One thing I did do straight off was go to the local health food store and buy him the best vitamins (or so I thought at the time) his money could buy. I also talked with the dietitian and we started him on an 1800 calorie diabetic diet. He also started with physical and occupational therapy. After all at the time I felt if he got his medications when he needed them, got good vitamins and ate a balanced diabetic diet, got some therapy he should improve, right? .................................He did.

By that next spring Dad was riding the scooter I had purchased for him around the block!

Funny story: One day one of my sitters had dad out on his scooter. She forgot about the speed dial on the dashboard. The one I had taken great pains to bring to her attention. The one where there is a picture on one side of a turtle designating the slow speed and a picture of a rabbit on the other designated the very fast speed. Anyway Kathy comes huffing and puffing through the garage saying, "I don't know how much longer I am going to be able to take your dad out, I could barely keep up with him today!" I thought to myself... Hmmmm. I asked her to come with me and we walked over to the scooter. The speed knob was all the way up to RABBIT! I sat back and got a good visual of this woman running hard behind this old man on a scooter and yelling at my father to stop. That thought along with visualizing my father hunkered down speeding along down the street with a determined look on his face was all I could take. I busted out laughing..... Now there was a seriousness to this of course but one thing I have found is if I didn't find humorous things in some of these very stressful situations, I would go crazy. .....Just a side note, her family thought it hilarious too. In fact they laughed harder than I did! Go figure.

Stay tuned........

Friday's Quote of the Day

"Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change."

Friday's

Runaway Days

My step-mom has a huge heart. She should have divorced my dad long before he was helped to divorce her. No matter how hard things were at our house with dads drinking she never left us kids. She could have. She eventually left when my youngest half brother Josh was in High School. She and Josh packed up and moved to Shelbyville, Tennessee where my step-mom had grown up. Her mother was there and my step-brother, Tim. With all that said I still am not sure why my adopted brother drove dad all the way down to Tennessee and left dad on her doorstep. Maybe it was because he knew she would take care of him. I never asked him.

My half brother Josh and mom found a sort of group home for dad. There happened to be a huge house there in Shelbyville full of veterans. Each one had their own room and an older lady took care of all of them. The military paid for his room and board and food. Not a bad set up. Especially when I look back and remember him telling me time and time again, "When I get to where I can't take care of myself just put me in the Veterans hospital and let them take care of me." There was one problem. He kept walking out the door saying he was going home to Kentucky. He would just walk out the door and keep walking and mom and Josh would get a call to come retrieve him. Not a good setup after all. Not with someone with Alzheimers/Dementia.
It was clear a new game plan was needed. But what. Josh had a wife and together they decided they would get a home big enough for dad and he would live with them. They did that. They got a beautiful home big enough for Josh, his wife, their baby and dad. It was perfect. Dad loved living in the country. They lived in the country. Dad liked to smoke. They let him smoke in the beginning. Dad liked to drink............OF COURSE THEY DIDN'T LET HIM DRINK......Silly you for thinking that! Two more babies followed. Dad started wearing diapers somewhere during that time. Josh and his wife ended up with 3 small babies of their own and an adult baby in diapers and all at the same time! One problem still kept cropping up. Dad would say he was going home to Kentucky and walk out the door. He would walk out the door when no they weren't looking. And man he could move fast when he wanted to. But never fast enough.

Once when they were up here in Indiana visiting dad threw one of his fits outside in my yard. He didn't want to take his pills Josh was trying to give him. He said Josh was trying to kill him. He took off across the yard and almost walked into the street. Of course Josh was there trying to stop him and get him to listen to reason. Dementia rearing its ugly head. It was hard to see Josh and Dad having this struggle. I actually told Josh he needed to put dad in a home. That Dad had done this to himself and if Josh kept him, this stress would destroy his marriage. My anger was still there.

A year or two later Josh and his wife divorced. I got a call from Josh. "I can't take care of dad anymore, he's going to have to go to a nursing home." Dad had been in the hospital several times that year with pneumonia. Josh said he didn't think he would live very much longer and that he was not doing well. I told him I wasn't sure if I was ready to put him in a nursing home but that I would call him back. Somewhere in that time since I had told him to put him in a nursing home and when that call came I had changed a bit. I had helped a good friend who went into a nursing home because of a promise I made to her dying husband. She passed away pretty much in my arms. I had been at the nursing home that year just about every single day making sure she was taken care of since she had no local family. So it was clear to me later that if my father went into a nursing home I would be there about every day. Not a good situation when you have children at home and a husband. Just the time I had spent with Leona at the nursing home put a great strain on me and my family.

After much discussion Kenny and I decided I would bring my father into our home. This would allow me to care for him for as long as I could and take care of my family. I did end up quitting my job. I must say that without my loving, patient husband I would never have been able to do this. To him I say thank you, thank you, thank you.

I met my brothers half way between here in Evansville, Indiana and Shelbyville, Tennessee to pick up my father. The man that had given Josh fits at my home not so long ago was no longer there. The man I brought home laid in bed all day, didn't hardly communicate at all, and was shy some medications he had been prescribed. He did seem to be on his way to heaven. In no time though everything changed.

Stay tuned.......................

Tuesday's Quote of the Day

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." Henry Ford

Another Picture of Me

This is another picture of me. I had to get a copy of a picture someone else had. Dad doesn't have many pictures left.

Nothing But the Clothes on His Back & 1 Gun

Okay so his adopted son moves in with him. I forgot to mention the adopted son had a daughter in tow. My father loves children by the way. Anyway I didn't hear much about or from my father during this time so I can only tell you what came next...........................Some months later I got a call from my step-mom in Tennessee. Yep....my step-mom. You know the one my dad had just divorced some months before with the help of my little brother Mike.................Imagine my surprise when she said, "Guess who is on my doorstep?"...........My answer of course was.."Who?"................."Your father!!!!", she said in a very matter of fact way.

Well now after I picked my jaw up off the floor and was able to mentally receive details she told me what happened. Apparently my adopted brother couldn't take care of dad either. So my adopted brother (adopted cause my dads name is on the birth certificate but is not his biological father), just left him on my step-moms doorstep with only the clothes on his back and 1 of my fathers guns. Everything else of my fathers he took. Yep my dads truck, and everything else. And on my step-moms doorstep of all places......Go figure. No don't go figure. You wont ever be able to figure it out........

May 4, 1971 Guard Duty

Back of Photo says: This is me at my barracks on guard duty. Bags are full of sand. Jacket is a flak vest and will stop most bullets from a distance. Our barracks is all open inside, no rooms, double beds, one on top of each other......Love Daddy

Dad & Me

Me and my father. Looks like Christmas Day so that would make me a month old. That's the ugliest christmas tree I think I have ever seen...lol

Mild Cognitive Impairment? Alzheimers? You?

Does Mild Cognitive Impairment Concern You?
Posted in Longevity and Age Management, Aging, Alzheimer's Disease, Longevity on Mon July 14, 2008
Reducing the Danger of Silent Neurological Decline by Edward R. Rosick, DO, MPH, DABHM Conventional physicians have yet to recognize the growing epidemic of mild cognitive impairment that faces our aging population. Currently, there is no standard medical protocol for preventing or treating this condition that may be a precursor to Alzheimer’s disease. In this article, physician Dr. Rosick discusses the need for early diagnosis and preventive treatment.
The Epidemic of Alzheimer’s Disease
Clinically described in 1906, Alzheimer’s is the most common cause of dementia in those aged 65 or older. It is characterized by a progressive decline in both cognition and memory. With the rapidly aging population in the United States, projections are that 20 million people in the United States will develop this extremely debilitating neurological disease during the next four decades.1,2 However, there is another condition that all of us, elderly or not, need to be concerned about when it comes to suboptimal brain function—mild cognitive impairment.
Is Mild Cognitive Impairment an Early Form of Alzheimer’s Disease?Who among us doesn’t forget things now and then? As a busy physician practicing integrative medicine at a university medical center, I find that it’s not unusual to forget even the simplest of things—like where I’ve left my car keys or what room my stethoscope is in (fortunately, I generally don’t forget what room my patients are in!). In fact, I’m sure it’s safe to say there is practically no one in our fast-paced, high-stress world who does not have these episodes of forgetfulness. For most of us, while annoying, these bouts of memory meltdown are not a big deal. But for some people—those who suffer from mild cognitive impairment—it is a potentially serious problem.
Mild cognitive impairment represents a process in which individuals show a statistically significant decline in their memory when compared with other patients of the same age and gender. In contrast to patients with Alzheimer’s disease, people with mild cognitive impairment generally have no other cognitive complaints—that is, they have no problems driving, dressing themselves, cooking dinner, etc.
It should be noted that research into mild cognitive impairment is still new. In fact, there is no consensus among mainstream (or even integrative) physicians on what does and does not comprise mild cognitive impairment.
“If I have mild cognitive impairment, does that mean I’ll automatically get Alzheimer’s disease?” is a question I often hear, and the answer, at least from the data we currently have, is “no.” Studies show that people with mild cognitive impairment do not automatically go on to develop Alzheimer’s disease. In the 2004 Canadian Study of Health and Aging in 296 men and women, 29% remained stable—that is, they did not deteriorate further into Alzheimer’s disease, while 10% recovered—that is, they regained normal memory and cognitive function.3 In a more recent study published in 2007, Italian researchers examined 52 elderly men and women (average age of 73 years) with mild cognitive impairment over a period ranging from two months to three years. The researchers found that almost 54% of the patients remained stable in terms of their memory retention, while 17% of them regained normal brain function.4
“So even if I have mild cognitive impairment, are you saying that I don’t have to worry about progressing to Alzheimer’s disease?” is a reasonable question many of you are probably asking. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Preliminary data indicate that about 10% or so of people with mild cognitive impairment will go on to develop Alzheimer’s disease versus only 2% of the general population. Because of this statistically increased risk, I believe it is imperative that we in the medical community—both mainstream and integrative—be aggressive in formalizing tests and standards to determine if a person is developing mild cognitive impairment. Unfortunately, that day isn’t here yet. Because subtle changes in memory and cognition happen to all of us at certain times—and especially as we age—defining who has mild cognitive impairment remains a critical challenge. New screening tests—such as the Montreal Cognitive Assessment—are being developed to provide health care providers with a rapid, sensitive tool to assess memory and mild cognitive impairment. In addition, imaging studies like magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) have shown that people with mild cognitive impairment, like those with Alzheimer’s disease, tend to have a loss of cells in the hippocampus, an area of the brain that is critically important to memory formation.
Preventing Mild Cognitive Impairment
Because people with mild cognitive impairment have a small but statistically increased risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease, the American Academy of Neurology has recommended that people with suspected mild cognitive impairment should be monitored closely by a physician. Since it is known that early detection and treatment of Alzheimer’s disease is important, it only makes sense to think that if you are at risk for mild cognitive impairment, the sooner you can take steps to prevent its progression, the better. As an anti-aging, holistically trained physician, the bottom line to me is recognizing whether or not mild cognitive impairment will lead to Alzheimer’s disease and beginning a program that may very well delay—or even prevent—mild cognitive impairment, and therefore, Alzheimer’s disease.
Mild Cognitive Impairment and Alzheimer’s Disease—Common Causes?
Because of some similarities between mild cognitive impairment and Alzheimer’s disease, researchers have begun to examine whether these two disease states share common etiologies. Damage to brain cells through the excess production of free radicals may be a key process common to both mild cognitive impairment and Alzheimer’s disease. Free radicals are molecules that are produced inside brain cells and every other cell in the body when energy is generated. However, in certain diseases like Alzheimer’s, free radicals are produced in much greater amounts than normal. These excess free radicals are now known to cause significant damage to the brain that can lead to actual nerve cell destruction. An important review article reported that in the autopsied brains of patients with Alzheimer’s disease, there were many hallmark pathological changes caused by free-radical activity, including DNA damage, protein oxidation, and lipid peroxidation.5
With the knowledge that free radicals are most likely involved in Alzheimer’s, researchers are now examining whether or not these destructive biomolecules are involved in the genesis of mild cognitive impairment. A study published in Neurology showed that, in the authors’ own words, “oxidative damage occurs in the brain of subjects with mild cognitive impairment.”6 In an even more recent study published in 2007, researchers presented data showing that in patients with mild cognitive impairment, there was significant evidence of excess free-radical production and oxidative damage. In light of this evidence, the authors of the study concluded, “… antioxidants or combinations of antioxidants are necessary to decrease oxidative damage in mild cognitive impairment and Alzheimer’s.”7
Finally, another recent study examined the blood levels of numerous antioxidants—including vitamins A, C, and E along with lutein and zeaxanthin—in the plasma of both male and female patients with mild cognitive impairment, Alzheimer’s disease, and healthy control patients. The study unequivocally showed that both the level and biochemical activity of all these antioxidants were lower in patients with both mild cognitive impairment and Alzheimer’s. Because of this, the authors stated in no uncertain terms, “as mild cognitive impairment may represent a prodromal stage of Alzheimer’s disease, and oxidative damage appears to occur as one of the earliest patho-physiological events in Alzheimer’s disease, an increased intake of antioxidants in patients with mild cognitive impairment could be helpful in lowering the risk of conversion to dementia.”8
Using Antioxidants to Prevent Mild Cognitive Impairment and Alzheimer’s DiseaseWith the knowledge that oxidative damage to brain cells may be part of the process that leads to both Alzheimer’s disease and mild cognitive impairment, it makes sense to think that antioxidant supplements could be important weapons in the war on these forms of dementia that lead to cognitive and memory changes. One early study that examined 442 elderly patients in Basel, Switzerland, found a direct correlation between the blood levels of two common antioxidants (beta-carotene and vitamin C) and memory retention.9 Another study reported on the reduced risk of Alzheimer’s in people who took antioxidant supplements. The results of the study should come as no surprise, and unequivocally showed that, in the authors’ own words, “use of vitamin E and vitamin C supplements in combination is associated with reduced prevalence and incidence of Alzheimer’s disease. Antioxidant supplements merit further study as agents in the primary prevention of Alzheimer’s disease.”10 What we are learning, however, is that traditional antioxidants like alpha-tocopherol vitamin E may not be enough to protect neurons against free radicals in the long run.
Resveratrol—a Natural Antioxidant Vital for Preventing Mild Cognitive ImpairmentA useful antioxidant in preventing mild cognitive impairment and Alzheimer’s disease may be found in an age-old drink—red wine. Resveratrol is a poly-phenol found primarily in the skin of grapes, and it is present in significant amounts in red wine.
Multiple studies demonstrate the significant beneficial effect that resveratrol has in protecting brain cells from the ravages of free radicals. One published study examined the protective effect of black grape skin extracts (which are high in resveratrol) on cellular toxicity produced by the beta-amyloid peptide in human endothelial cells.11 The researchers showed, that, at least in the laboratory setting, the grape skin extract reduced free-radical production by beta-amyloid (a pathological protein often found in the brains of Alzheimer’s patients), along with protecting the epithelial cells’ membranes against free-radical induced damage.
Two other studies have lent credence to the idea that resveratrol can provide protection against Alzheimer’s disease and mild cognitive impairment through its antioxidant activity. One study examined the effects of resveratrol on human neuroblastoma cells subjected to oxidative stress generated from damaging beta-amyloid peptide.12 Resveratrol was effective in restoring glutathione (an intracellular free-radical scavenger) levels in the human cells that were subjected to beta-amyloid. Another published study showed that resveratrol protected cultured rat cells against beta-amyloid-induced cytotoxicity and intracellular accumulation of free radicals.13
What You Need to Know: Are You At Risk for Mild Cognitive Impairment?
One of the most serious and debilitating illnesses facing aging adults is Alzheimer’s disease. Alzheimer’s leads to progressive and irreversible memory loss and dementia.
Medical science is increasingly recognizing a milder form of memory loss termed mild
Cognitive impairment. Individuals with mild cognitive impairment show decline in memory function when compared with healthy patients of the same age.
People with mild cognitive impairment face a slightly higher risk of developing Alzheimer’s; aggressive prevention strategies are therefore warranted to help avert both these ominous conditions.
Free radical-induced damage to brain cells has been implicated in both mild cognitive impairment and Alzheimer’s.
Antioxidant-boosting nutrients such as glutathione, resveratrol, lipoic acid, acetyl-L-carnitine, and SAMe show promise in offsetting the pathological changes associated with mild cognitive impairment and Alzheimer’s.
Another key brain nutrient called phosphatidylserine has been found in clinical trials to help preserve memory function with aging.
Glutathione: Fighting Free Radicals and Protecting Against Mild Cognitive Impairment
Glutathione is one of the most effective free-radical fighters in the human body. With the knowledge that both Alzheimer’s disease and mild cognitive impairment are associated with an excess of free radicals, maintaining optimal glutathione levels may be critical in preventing these diseases. A review article in the journal Archives of Biochemistry and Biophysics discussed both the decline of glutathione in the heart and brain, along with the vital importance of optimal gluta-thione levels.14 As the authors state, “a heightened pro-oxidant cellular environment is particularly evident in metabolically active tissues, such as the heart and brain; in turn, these organs are prone to develop life-threatening pathophysiological conditions such as congestive heart failure and Alzheimer’s disease… the brain and the heart are especially vulnerable to oxidative insult owing to their relatively limited glutathione-dependent antioxidant activity.”
For those in mainstream medicine who continue to doubt the importance of glutathione in maintaining cognitive abilities, a recent article in the prestigious Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences should quash their skepticism.15 In an elegant series of experiments, scientists compared blood glutathione concentrations between female and male patients with Alzheimer’s disease and age-matched controls. Researchers found that glutathione content was not significantly different among women with Alzheimer’s and those without the disease. In men, there was a substantial decrease in glutathione concentrations in the red blood cells of patients with Alzheimer’s disease, compared with control patients without Alzheimer’s. Because of these findings, the authors of this study concluded, “these data suggest that glutathione depletion may contribute to the pathogenesis of Alzheimer’s in males.”
Optimizing Glutathione to Protect Against Mild Cognitive Impairment
It should be clear in the face of this mounting scientific evidence that maintaining optimal levels of glutathione is vital to your brain health. There are multiple ways to effectively increase your glutathione levels through natural supplements. One way to maintain high glutathione levels is through the use of two powerful antioxidants, lipoic acid and acetyl-L-carnitine.
Multiple studies have shown that acetyl-L-carnitine and lipoic acid may offer health benefits through their ability to increase glutathione levels.14,16 In one study, researchers showed that lipoic acid given to aging rats successfully reversed age-related decline in glutathione levels in both the brain and heart, leading the authors of the study to conclude that “lipoic acid is an effective agent to restore both the age-associated decline in [antioxidant] ratio as well as increase cerebral [glutathione] levels that otherwise decline with age.”14
Lipoic acid and acetyl-L-carnitine also work on their own to combat free radicals. In a paper co-authored by the renowned researcher Dr. Bruce Ames, both lipoic acid and acetyl-L-carnitine were shown to significantly protect cells in rats against oxidative damage, leading the authors to conclude that “… feeding old rats acetyl-L-carnitine plus lipoic acid lowers oxidants, neuron RNA oxidation, and mutagenic aldehydes…improves the age-associated decline in ambulatory activity and memory… and prevents…oxidative decay and dysfunction.”17 Finally, acetyl-L-carnitine may be useful in preventing mild cognitive impairment. A 6-12-month randomized, placebo-controlled trial using 1,500-3,000 mg/day of acetyl-L-carnitine showed that patients taking this safe and effective supplement had statistically greater scores on tests of memory and other cognitive functions.18
SAMe—Possibly the Most Effective Way of Boosting Brain Glutathione
A study published in Germany evaluated the brains of rodents who received SAMe (S-adenosylmethionine) compared with a control group who did not get SAMe.19 The results showed that:
SAMe increased glutathione levels by 50% and antioxidant glutathione enzyme activity by 98%.
SAMe decreased a measurement of free-radical activity by 46%.
SAMe inhibited lipid peroxidation by 55% in culture.
This rodent study showed that SAMe inhibits lipid peroxidation and enhances the glutathione antioxidant system specifically in the brain.19
The multi-faceted benefits of SAMe in protecting the brain, the liver, and the joints while improving mood have motivated many health-conscious people to take it daily.
Protecting Brain Cell Membranes
Ever hear your mainstream physician talk about phosphatidylserine? Probably not, since like other supplements, it is not a patentable substance, and therefore has been dismissed by drug companies. Yet phosphatidylserine has been shown in multiple studies to be another safe and effective nutrient in warding off the cognitive decline seen in aging, including mild cognitive impairment. Phosphatidylserine—a phospholipid that is actually a major component of brain neuronal membranes—has been shown in animal studies to reduce many of the effects of aging on the brain.20 Fortunately, these effects seem to similarly apply to humans. In double-blind, placebo-controlled studies conducted in Italy, patients (aged 55-80 years old) with mild cognitive impairment who took 300 mg/day of phosphatidylserine consistently scored higher in memory retention tests than those taking placebo.21-23
Mild Cognitive Impairment—A Real Disease With Potentially Deadly Consequences
Those in mainstream medicine typically insist on large, double-blind, placebo-controlled, randomized, multicenter studies before determining whether or not a treatment—or supplement—is worthwhile. While I have nothing against these types of studies—and agree with my mainstream colleagues that they are quite useful—I feel it is foolish at best and deadly at worst to wait until these studies are completed in order to recommend certain supplements for conditions in which mainstream medicine has no answers—such as mild cognitive impairment. A number of readily available supplements have been found in multiple studies to be potentially useful in preventing mild cognitive impairment and Alzheimer’s disease. Until those in mainstream medicine can offer a safe, effective, and inexpensive alternative, I feel that it is my duty as a physician to inform my patients of this vital information to help prevent the loss of their memory and therefore, the loss of themselves.
If you have any questions on the scientific content of this article, please call a Life Extension Health Advisor at 1-800-226-2370.
RESOURCE/SOURCE: http://www.lef.org/magazine/mag2008/jul2008_Mild-Cognitive-Impairment-Reducing-Danger-of-Neurological-Decline_01.htm LE Magazine July 2008

THE SUPPLEMENT MY FATHER TAKES RAISED GLUTATHIONE LEVELS IN THE LATEST CLINICAL TRIALS ON AVERAGE 292%. WHAT I FIND THE MOST AMAZING (IF THATS NOT ENOUGH) IS THAT EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE 60 DAY TRIAL WHO RECEIVED IT HAD THEIR LEVELS RAISED AT LEAST 200%. AT LEAST 200%!!

More of our story coming in the next post..........................

Did you know………..

· In the last few decades the Autism rate in America has gone from 1 in 2500 children to 1 in 150 children?

· According to a recent study a newborns umbilical cord blood contains an average of 200 chemicals and pollutants?


· The number of United States children diagnosed with ADHD has reached 4.4 million?

· In the United States alone over 5 million people suffer from Alzheimer’s disease?


· Nearly 19 million adults report activity limitation due to arthritis?

· 8 out of 10 people over the age of 65 have at least one chronic illness?

Gives a person something to think about.

Family Squabbles

So dad has the beginning stages of dementia. Hmm. He has just had a stroke and his right side has been affected. The doctors and nurses encouraged dad to fill out an Advanced Directive while in the hospital and I helped him.* My step-mom came up from Tennessee to help me figure out what needed to be done. (Keep in mind now that my father and step-mom had been seperated for some time but dad never did divorce her) My little brother and his wife came as well to the hospital. And of course my husband was there with us. The doctors agreed he should not go back to his home because it was not set up for his debilitated state. There was much heated discussions on this subject as my step-mom and I agreed. Dad didn't. Other family members were willing to let dad do what he wanted to do. Thus the squabbles. In the end it was agreed dad would go to my little brothers (Mike) home for a time until he could get around better and maybe go back to his home. They worked hard to help monitor his diet and take care of him. Dad wasn't very cooperative because he wanted to be on his own again, eating what he wanted to eat and doing what he wanted to do. I believe he was most concerned about the young girlfriend he had had for several years. And he was rightly so to be worried. She hadn't signed up for caregiver. She left him. Somewhere in this time with my little brother Mike and his wife he divorced my step-mom.* While he was in the first stages of dementia. After a couple of months an adopted son of my dad's had come back on the scene and decided he would move in with my father in my fathers home. So that's what they did............ Oh and I don't want to lead you on and think I wanted to take care of him because I didn't. Remember I loved my father but I thought he was resonsible for being in the condition he was in and while not wanting him to be in his own home doing all the wrong things, I thought he needed to be in a nursing home getting some kind of care. For sure not in my home screwing up my life.....

* Remember this as it will be very important in upcoming posts.

"We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves." Eric Hoffer

The Beginning

On November 25, 1964 my mother gave birth to a little girl she named Julie Ann. I was the first of four children she gave birth too. The doctor who delivered me was named Dr. Julian. My deduction this many years later is that my mom had the hots for her doctor. Never asked her so I could be wrong.

My father was an airplane mechanic and did several tours in Vietnam.

My parents didn't stay married but this information doesn't really matter now does it.....lets fast forward some years later....In fact about 11 1/2.

I had left home to be married as soon as I graduated from High School. I was 17 1/2 and I felt I knew everything and could do anything I set my mind too. I left home angry at my father. I felt he should have provided for us better than he did. After retiring from the military he did this job and that job but never settled into anything for the long term. At the time I thought he should have been an airline mechanic like he had been in the military and so I blamed him for all the things I felt he should have gotten for me. He wasn't home enough, was too controlling and drank to much. And I was a not so grown up teenager.

I was blessed (although at the time I didn't think so) with a step-mom named Kathryn who filled in for the huge hole left in my life when my father took us after divorcing my mom and left the state. I still think of her as my real mom even though I do have a relationship with my real mother. Of course it took leaving home for me to really appreciate her.

I divorced my first husband after about 11 years and remarried in the same year. God saw fit to align my current husband (just going through a divorce too) and I at a self-help christian divorce single meeting one evening. We married in 1993. I had never gone back to my hometown of Owensboro, Kentucky after I left it. And to this day never have. My father was always there though.

Not too long after we married I received word my father was in the hospital with a stoke. This was when he learned he had diabetes as well as was in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's/Dementia. He never really got to go back home. My step-mom and he had seperated some 10 years or so earlier and it was determined he could not go back to the home he had been in safely. That's when his children entered the picture. He has several. Some step, adopted and blood children. Six in all. By entered the picture, I mean thats when we had to step in and take some control.